Those of you who know me in real life likely know that I can get a little, uh… “wrapped up” in discussions on certain issues. Be they politicical, religious, or otherwise, few topics are taboo with me. (This XKCD comic summarizes my “problem” rather well.)
Suffice it to say, this desire to discuss and debate (online and in person) occasionally draws out a side of myself I’m not always pleased with. The consequences of pushing an issue too far were recently most apparent during a discussion I was having on Google Buzz with a friend of mine. As I had discovered times before (always far too late), it became clear that not everyone shares my affinity for drilling so deep.
Where does the problem tend to start? Well, I’m particularly fond of pushing people to substantiate their assertions, myself included. To that end, if you’re going to make an assertion (or present something in a fashion that suggests you’re in agreement with a position) which I object to, I’ll tend to hammer away at that to see what there is to support your take. Not to say it’s necessarily a bad thing, but it has its place and must be done in moderation.
Sometimes, though, I plain forget about the desired/ideal/productive outcome of the conversation. That the whole reason I started the conversation was to find common ground, or understand where and why a gap exists.
The only thing I’ve been able to do to mitigate the effects of this is to stay all the more aware of my actions during a conversation. (Of course, this can be a challenge when you’re that passionate about something.) Also, listening closer not just to what I’m saying (CRAZY, right?), but to how I’m saying it and how it serves the end result I’m looking for.
Does anyone else have this problem? Do you find yourself struggling to avoid getting lost in pointless squabbling over the minutia that does little more than potentially hurt friendships?
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Naturally; it’s only human to do so. Some would argue that it’s a symptom of being a Pisces but I would argue that astrology is merely a shell game where simple aspects of human nature are the cards so you’ll always relate to hand you’re given at least a little bit. If you can’t get someone to substantiate their assertions it’s because they can’t, don’t want to or haven’t given it much thought. There’s nothing wrong with healthy discussion. If it ends up costing you your friendships then that sort of said something about the friendship.
Nice new site, btw; I just noticed it.
Very good article! Thanks for sharing! I too seem to share experience the same problems with online debates.